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melting but not down

Friday, 7 August 2009

infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!

Yesterday I promised mum I'd go over today. This morning she phoned to check. I told her I'd be over after breakfast and a shower.

I arrived at mum's at 10:30, about a minute behind her neighbour. Mum seemed to be aggrieved about something, judging by her tone of voice as I walked in. It transpired she had phoned home while I was en route and was convinced Mr Lily had told her I wasn't coming. Stressful half hour while I tried to persuade mum she must have been mistaken, being deaf, and she told her neighbour she was glad she was there because she wanted to talk to someone sensible and that Mr Lily and I were trying to make her think she was barmy, she was afraid of me and threatened me with her solicitor again. (Neighbour was trying to be the supportive voice of reason, she even suggested a retirement home might be a good idea when mum accused me of trying to shove her into one.) Mum said she would have to contact her doctor to sort me out (!) but when I agreed with her, she reverted to accusing me of plotting with her doctor. Her neighbour told her she was lucky to have such a good daughter, mum said she hadn't seen me all week! I tried to convince her that I'd been every day, showing her the key labels I'd sorted out yesterday and reminding her of the fish and chips we'd had on Wednesday but she clearly didn't believe me. I even said to the neighbour, "you've seen my car here, haven't you?!" as I was getting a bit paranoid myself, imagining people believing mum instead of me. Mum complained about being stuck in the house so I suggested she try the rollator again. She didn't seem to remember it. I said I'd go and fetch it, leaving her with her neighbour, a widow not much younger than mum. I was glad she'd seen mum in all her unreasonableness, as having a witness to mum's deteriorating mental health can only be a good thing, in case at some point I need to start the process of getting her into a care home.

Back at maison Lily, him indoors confessed that he had lost his temper on the phone with mum after she'd phoned a few times and complained it was "cruel" that I hadn't yet arrived, despite his reminding her it was a good 20 minutes journey between our two homes. He weakly denied telling her that I wasn't coming but I'm not convinced. I can imagine that in the heat of the moment he may have. I asked him to try to be patient with her for my sake, she's confused enough as it is and I only end up getting all the flack.

Back at mum's, her neighbour was just leaving. She said she thought mum was fixated (presumably on the conspiracy theory) and didn't know what could be done to help. Mum seemed to have calmed down when I went back in. We had a reasonably peaceful few hours, including lunch, before I left with a promise to return tomorrow for shopping at Morrisons. Lovely daughter has said she will come with me, thank goodness. I wonder what mood mum will be in?

I needed some retail therapy after all this so took a big bag of unwanted clothing to the local charity shop and had a root through the rails. Found a gorgeous black and white boned satin top and matching skirt for £5 that will be perfect for the cruise next year, also a pretty summer blue skirt for work for £3.


Emily said...

Well, ya know, she's being so damned silly that, in your shoes, I think I'd try agreeing with her, for my own (cruel) amusement
..."yes, that's right, I haven't come all week," "yes, that's right, I'm really not here," and so forth.

That said, you are certainly saintly to spend so much time in her miserably uncomfortable company...lunch, for heaven's sake? Your poor tummy!

Clippy Mat said...

LOL didn't kenneth williams say that in a carry on movie?
bad day for mum again, poor thing. glad you got some retail therapy. :-)

Lily said...

Emily - I like the idea of Saint Lily, now of what would I be the patron saint, desperate daughters? lol
Clippy - yes he did, Carry on Cleopatra I think!