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melting but not down

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

perfect timing!

Tuesday night - mum is in a good mood, forgetful but cheery. I am knackered and she doesn't mind that we postpone the shower until Thursday. I tell her I'll see her at lunchtime on Wednesday and get away fairly early.

Wednesday lunchtime - I arrive at mum's but can't find her. I try the neighbour - she's there, mid paranoid rant about my plot to convince her she's barmy/steal her money/hide things from her (the latest being her address book). She has forgotten that her doctor is coming today and is adamant I didn't tell her, adding fuel to her conspiracy theory. Back at mum's bungalow I remind her that on Monday I had written her a note about the doctor's visit, she denied it, I showed her it, she accused me of sleight of hand, ie slipping it under a pile of papers where she knew it hadn't been before. She told me again that she was afraid of me, could do without me, didn't want me there when the doctor came. I was calm and understanding throughout, but ecstatic inside that Mrs Hyde had made an appearance when it really mattered!

The doctor arrived and as I went into the kitchen to do the washing up, I heard mum ask "has she gone?". I could tell she was acquainting the doctor with my villainy, hearing "daughter" in the midst of a furious outburst. The GP also gave her a brief memory test, I'm guessing mum didn't do too well in it. When I was called back in, we both tried to convince mum we were just concerned about her and the doctor prescribed her an anti-depressant as she thought it might help with the anxiety/paranoia. As she left, she said to me "poor you, its going to be horrible!" The district nurse came soon after to take mum's bloods, by which time mum seemed to be calming down.

When I came back from the pharmacist and shops (for tea, bread and teacakes), she announced "I've been having a good think about things while you've been gone. I'm sorry we fell out." I laughed and said that I hadn't fallen out with her. Then she hugged me (thud!) and said "I do love you, you know. Let's start again tomorrow.....well, from now." Yikes! Ok, the cynic in me thought maybe she was just trying some damage limitation in case the doctor told me what she'd said about me but who cares, it was good to end the visit on a happy note. Before I went I helped her put her keys in safe places and wrote out a list of where they were in case she forgot.

Then I went home via the charity shop and Sainsbury's - one top, one necklace, one pair of pink and orange flatties at the former; two boxes of cornettos at the latter.......because I'm worth it!


Emily said...

Yes, you are very worth it! Your Mom has no idea how lucky she is to have you for a daughter.

Can the doctor recommend places? Or how does that happen from here?

Clippy Mat said...

wow. hang on to that when things get rough. underneath it all she knows that without you she's lost and i hope that it makes you feel better to know that everything you do is worthwhile. glad that the doc was there too.
happy bargain hunting.

Annie said...

Lily, I'm glad things ended on an up note for you. You are doing what is right for your Mum, don't forget that.