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melting but not down

Thursday, 29 July 2010

a fool and her barnet are soon parted

I had my hair cut (no problem) and streaked (urrgh) on Wednesday. I don't know what happened. I'd discussed it with my hairdresser the last time I was there and I'm sure we'd agreed on 'lowlights', I even think the word 'caramel' was mentioned. So how I left the salon today with fine blonde streaks I'll never know, other than when he said that was what he was going to do, I gave him the go ahead, ignoring the little voice inside reminding me of the original plan. What a wuss.

I don't like it. It makes my hair look insipid and me older. I'm going to buy a wash in colour and hope it doesn't turn my hair orange.

Some time later............
The 'light brown' colour I put on this morning has done the trick, now I have subtle light golden brown/blonde highlights instead of lemony white streaks. Phew!

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

I could have scratched all night, I could have scratched all night, and still have scratched some more.....

aaaaaaargh! This middle of the night itching is driving me mad and is extra annoying as I can't see the reason for it - my excema cleared up quite a while ago so its perfectly normal looking skin these days being driven mad by the nettle devils' tour of every limb in perpetuity. My scalp is no better and I have a hairdresser's appointment tomorrow morning, I dread their commenting on it, so embarrassing. Anyway, I got up to take my mind off it so I'll change the subject.

Lovely daughter and I visited mum yesterday. I hadn't been for over a fortnight - away in London last weekend and then stricken by a summer cold that still hasn't quite gone. Mum didn't seem aware of the gap, she was just pleased to see us (and the box of Thornton's chocolates we took!). She was in the lounge with lots of other residents when we arrived, I really think having company around her, even if she can't hear what people are saying, is a great comfort to her after all those solitary years. She seems much more relaxed and stress free now, no longer the woman who worried about everything and constantly bemoaned her miserable life. She still talks about going home to her father, but without distress. Yesterday she elaborated on her wishes for him - not only should he find a woman and marry her, they should have children to take his mind off picking on mum! I still find it very peculiar to collude with her delusions but its the kindest thing. Anyway, mum's so deaf these days that it would be impossible to try to explain the truth about anything. Even the simplest of comments, spoken very loudly, eludes her most of the time. I took along a bag of name labels - the kind you get for children's school uniform - and stitched them into some of her clothes while we sat in the dining room with a cup of tea. It proved a useful distraction for mum, who seemed interested and pleased by the process. I intend to keep going until everything in her wardrobe has her name in pink embroidery sewn into the seams!

I found out today that by signing up for Gift Aid with my local Help the Aged charity shop not so long ago (which means that Age UK can claim an extra 28% from the tax man on the proceeds from selling the goods I donate), I've raised £64.85 from my cast-off clothes! Bloody marvellous! I've been ruthlessly clearing out all my old size 16 and 14 clothes so I don't have any excuses to put the weight back on and am busy buying new 10s and 12s from the charity shop to replace them. Last time I went in I was hailed as one of their best customers! Its weigh in at Slimming World tonight, I've 10 pounds to go to my target of 8 stones 11 pounds but doubt I'll make it before we go on the cruise on 20 August. Still, I'd be happy just to keep losing until then. I don't know whether its a general skin problem, given the current sensitivity, or whether losing weight off my face is to blame, but I do seem to have developed more wrinkles lately. Most annoying. I'm hoping liberal applications of unguents and a relaxing holiday will iron them out. Vanity, vanity, all is vanity :-(

Friday, 23 July 2010

lulled into a false sense of security

I thought I'd cracked it. Daytime - dog in kitchen with access to drinking water and a little food, easy to clean up accidents from tiled floor; night-time - dog sleeps on landing without access to water, hopefully reducing wake-ups for wees and accidents on the carpet.

All went swimmingly for two or was it three days, I'm too tired to remember. No accidents while we were all out at work, no accidents or disturbed sleep during the night. Bliss.

Its 4 am and K9 has had me up three times in the last hour to let her out, evidence of her desperation visible in two little damp patches on her bed. What's a girl to do but make a cup of tea and whinge into the ether. I'd only just begun to feel like my brain was working again after being suffocated in the cranial cotton wool of a summer cold. Now I shall be doing my zombie impression at work again today. TFIF.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

old ladies have it in for me

Typical, innit. Mum's finally settled and well looked after so I should be able to relax but here comes another old girl to cause problems and interrupt my sleep. Our much loved, fifteen year old dog has become incontinent. She piddles and poops in the house without warning and gets us (well, lovely daughter and I) up in the night to let her out, sometimes when the damage is already done. 4 am this morning she scratched on my bedroom door, apparently having only just been let back in by LD, and as I went downstairs I stepped barefooted onto a soggy patch in the hall carpet. I'm going to try putting her bed in the kitchen for what is left of tonight but I suspect she'll be scratching at the door until we get up again. Apparently there's something you can get for weak canine bladders so its back to the vet's again, I think. I have a very poor sense of smell but Mr Lily said there was a definite pong when he came home from work yesterday. How embarrassing. Will have to get the carpets cleaned or rip them up and put down lino!

Monday, 5 July 2010

what's up?

I am, at daft o'clock again. Had a long lie in this morning - it was after 1pm when I finally surfaced, most unusual for me. Then I ran out of steam early evening and retired for 40 winks which ended up more like 4,000. I was still winking when my husband came to bed about an hour or two ago, then I got up to get a drink and here I am. Don't know why my energy levels are so low, I'm eating enough and healthily. Probably stress. The deputyship thing weighs heavily on my mind at the moment, so much to organise and I'm going to be 'supervised' by the Court of Protection so I'm anxious about doing it properly. Post Prozac I'm finding that I do tend to panic a bit about things I don't understand - I changed my car a few weeks ago and got myself in a right tiz about swapping the insurance over, very confusing.

Mum, meanwhile, is blissfully ignorant of all this. She has settled well into the home now and seems much more cheerful when we visit, albeit she still wonders when she'll be able to leave. We just say 'when you're better'. At first glance, you wouldn't think there was much amiss with her other than the deafness and the current chest infection - she chats quite normally about everyday things (as long as you don't ask her any questions that rely on memory, like what did you have for lunch today) but then drops the occasional bombshell - last week she was wishing her grumpy old father would meet a woman and get married!

I suppose I ought to go back to bed. Work tomorrow. Will I go on the bike? If only there weren't a huge hill between home and work that makes me arrive at the other end tomato faced and 'glowing'.

Thursday, 1 July 2010


I'm two stones and 1 pound lighter than I was 5 months ago! Seemed to take ages to get to this point but now I'm freshly motivated to try hard and get the last 13 pounds off before we sail on 20 August.

Greg, to answer your question, the cruise goes to Malaga, Piraeus, Dikili, Istanbul, Mytilene, Naples (hoping to tour Pompeii on this stopover) and Almeria.