About Me

My photo
melting but not down

Tuesday, 27 July 2010

I could have scratched all night, I could have scratched all night, and still have scratched some more.....

aaaaaaargh! This middle of the night itching is driving me mad and is extra annoying as I can't see the reason for it - my excema cleared up quite a while ago so its perfectly normal looking skin these days being driven mad by the nettle devils' tour of every limb in perpetuity. My scalp is no better and I have a hairdresser's appointment tomorrow morning, I dread their commenting on it, so embarrassing. Anyway, I got up to take my mind off it so I'll change the subject.

Lovely daughter and I visited mum yesterday. I hadn't been for over a fortnight - away in London last weekend and then stricken by a summer cold that still hasn't quite gone. Mum didn't seem aware of the gap, she was just pleased to see us (and the box of Thornton's chocolates we took!). She was in the lounge with lots of other residents when we arrived, I really think having company around her, even if she can't hear what people are saying, is a great comfort to her after all those solitary years. She seems much more relaxed and stress free now, no longer the woman who worried about everything and constantly bemoaned her miserable life. She still talks about going home to her father, but without distress. Yesterday she elaborated on her wishes for him - not only should he find a woman and marry her, they should have children to take his mind off picking on mum! I still find it very peculiar to collude with her delusions but its the kindest thing. Anyway, mum's so deaf these days that it would be impossible to try to explain the truth about anything. Even the simplest of comments, spoken very loudly, eludes her most of the time. I took along a bag of name labels - the kind you get for children's school uniform - and stitched them into some of her clothes while we sat in the dining room with a cup of tea. It proved a useful distraction for mum, who seemed interested and pleased by the process. I intend to keep going until everything in her wardrobe has her name in pink embroidery sewn into the seams!

I found out today that by signing up for Gift Aid with my local Help the Aged charity shop not so long ago (which means that Age UK can claim an extra 28% from the tax man on the proceeds from selling the goods I donate), I've raised £64.85 from my cast-off clothes! Bloody marvellous! I've been ruthlessly clearing out all my old size 16 and 14 clothes so I don't have any excuses to put the weight back on and am busy buying new 10s and 12s from the charity shop to replace them. Last time I went in I was hailed as one of their best customers! Its weigh in at Slimming World tonight, I've 10 pounds to go to my target of 8 stones 11 pounds but doubt I'll make it before we go on the cruise on 20 August. Still, I'd be happy just to keep losing until then. I don't know whether its a general skin problem, given the current sensitivity, or whether losing weight off my face is to blame, but I do seem to have developed more wrinkles lately. Most annoying. I'm hoping liberal applications of unguents and a relaxing holiday will iron them out. Vanity, vanity, all is vanity :-(


RNSANE said...

I do hope you get some relief from your itching. That really must be driving you batty.

How good that your mother is awar of your visits. I haven't seen my mother since I was in Georgia in Feb and found her totally unaware of who I was. She had suffered a frontal lobe stoke and was in atrial fibrillation. After a week's hospitalization, we got her into extended care near my brother's home in Atlanta and, after another week, I came back to California. She, to this day, hasn't a clue who we are. She is 86. I lost my nursing job a year and a half ago, retired ( with an income drop of $90,000/year ) so I can't even go and visit.

Greg said...

Ha Ha, I always used to put my youthful appearance down to "all the chocolate fat pushing the wrinkles out".. I think I look closer to my true age this year, but I'd rather look my age and not be about to die from various obesity-related nasties. Mind you, I have moments where I love chocolate more than life, it would seem.

It occurs to me that the skin is not only our largest organ but can also be a bit of a diagnostician in its own right - could the itchiness be your body trying to tell you something? Might you have developed a new food sensitivity, perhaps? I discovered only this month, to my absolute horror, that I have a sensitivity to tomatoes which saw me losing consciousness after a bowl of Gazpacho - who knew there was a link between lovely toms and Chronic Fatigue? The internet, that's who...

Our Mothers both benefit from being surrounded by bustle. I'm so relieved that yours is relaxing now and appreciating her surroundings. I hear you about colluding with delusions - I still struggle, but remember most of the time to let things go. Well done - really - on the sewn labels. I feel so guilty that I didn't do the same. I did order some online and they were all ready to be sewn into Mum's clothing before she went into her Care Home after her stay with me, but that last month was such a blur of sleeplessness and horror at Mum's decline and at the frightening decisions I was making - I simply didn't have it in me to make that final step. And that's how I lost Mum's entire wardrobe of fancy clothes within a few months. Thankfully, she just doesn't know and is happy.

Good luck with your final weeks of weight loss before the cruise!

Lily said...

That's really sad RN, I don't know which is worse, not being able to visit your mum or making that enormous journey only to be a stranger. I wonder whether, if her eyesight and hearing are ok, a computer link up via Skype or something similar would bridge the gap or would it just confuse her further?
Greg, I think you may be right about the skin as diagnostician - mine always flares up when something's amiss, although usually its emotional rather than nutritional distress to blame. Can you get time sensitive chronic fatigue? I really struggled to stay awake in a meeting this afternoon again, just sitting still while someone talks or a DVD plays has the same effect as someone sneaking up behind me with a pad of chloroform. Thanks for the good luck wishes - another pound lost tonight, making just 9 pounds left to lose. Doubt I'll make it before the cruise but I'm just happy its still coming off.