About Me

My photo
melting but not down

Thursday, 26 June 2008

functional insomnia

I woke up this morning just before 4, let the dog out, went back to bed and put on some soothing music to try to lull myself off to sleep. It was working until my mobile bleeped just before 5. My son had sent a text to say could I cancel his bank card as he'd had his wallet stolen at Glastonbury and his sister had had £200 stolen too. Clearly there's a reason I'm not allowed to sleep through the night - who else would come to the rescue of incontinent canines and destitute offspring? Apparently thieves crept into every tent on their site and reached over sleeping occupants to take bags; if they woke up, they shone a torch in their faces and said 'sorry mate' as though they'd stumbled into the wrong tent by mistake. I'm going to have to bite my tongue very hard on this one - son had the same experience at a festival last year and wouldn't you think he and his sister (who was somewhat critical of his carelessness at the time!) would have learned from it and put their valuables at their feet inside their sleeping bags? Still, mustn't blame the victims, hope the sleazebags responsible are caught/smitten by pestilence and plague (are they the same things?). Wide awake now. B******s.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008


Another broken night's sleep.

Tuesday, 24 June 2008

Hanging in there.

Not too bad a night's sleep last night, just half a dozen itch induced wakeful moments so made it through a full day at work, saving the dying swan impression for trailing round Morrison's with mum tonight (topping up the Saturday shop!). On the plus side, persuaded her to buy this from Maplins which hopefully will solve her latest post-stroke problem - she often forgets what day it is and the other night phoned me just after 10pm to ask whether it was morning or night (she had gone to bed early and woken up to find it still light outside). I looked on the net for a clock clearly showing the day of the week but the only ones with big enough displays were ridiculously expensive, so the new acquisition is a brilliant buy at only £19.99. And the amazing thing is - it sets the time itself by radio wave, including automatically adjusting for British summertime! It ought to be advertised more widely as a great aid for people with alzheimers/dementia etc.

Monday, 23 June 2008


Broken night's sleep, busy brain and itchy body (sorry if that's too much information). Shattered at work so just as well I left at half two to take the car to the garage as by then I couldn't think straight. Have had camomile tea and an anti-histamine tonight so fingers crossed.

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Gloomy Sunday

Very aware, today, that things are not right with me. Still me on the outside but the physical form enclosing a deeply sad spirit, unable to get into jolly mood with family and friends and just wanting to curl up in a corner. A blink away from tears. No particular reason for it. Plan on going to bed early and hope to wake up refreshed. Am marking this moment to see whether future downs follow a pattern.

Monday, 16 June 2008

Half a night's sleep is better than none

I went to bed at ten thirty. I was woken at four by a snore. I went to the loo and the dog wanted one too so I opened the kitchen door. I couldn't just stand there idle so I washed up a pile of pots, made some camomile tea just for me and lit candles, of which I have lots. In my peaceful back room I got comfy, sipped my tea and emptied my head, by the time five came round I had completely unwound and was ready to go back to bed. As I slipped twixt the sheets, H was up on his feet, getting ready for work - what heaven! With silence at last I fell asleep fast and didn't wake up until seven!

Sunday, 15 June 2008


A stress-free Saturday at last. No Morrisons with mum (cherished daughter took over as a birthday treat) and a reassuring phone call from BS who is now safely ensonced in a shared house, away from crazy g/f. Caught up with CD and mum for a good-humoured lunch then back home before going to Whitby with CD, husband and five friends for a catch up with friends over there and, of course, a superlative fish and chip supper! I'm going to try to relax today too, having spent the last few Sundays faffing about with housework to keep busy and take my mind of all the dramas. With a bit of luck I'll get a good night's sleep tonight and for once turn up for work on a Monday with more than half a brain!

Friday, 13 June 2008

The fates have got it in for me

They're sitting up there on that cloud, bored stiff, and picking on me for amusement. Evidence: Monday - a pheasant threw itself under my wheels and my mother had another sortie on the 'I shouldn't be living alone' guilt trip. Tuesday - I got lost on the way to a meeting in Leeds and arrived nearly an hour after it had finished and my mother all but accused me of stealing her building society papers for nefarious reasons because she'd forgotten where she'd put them. Wednesday - well, ok, Wednesday wasn't that bad. Thursday - more heavy hints about moving in with us from mum and an old schoolfriend of beloved son's came to visit with new tales of the crazy girlfriend and the welcome but not altogether guaranteed news that BS had a man with a van lined up to do a flit on Friday. Friday - should be going out with friends and family to see a band tonight but too stressed by the latest news that crazy g/f is threatening to set an equally crazy ex-boyfriend onto BS if he doesn't give her back the money she borrowed from him and recently repaid. God only knows how she'll react when she finds out BS has flown the coop. It's my birthday tomorrow. Ha.