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melting but not down

Wednesday, 9 September 2009


It has started again, the accusatory phone calls, the character assassination. Mum didn't remember we'd discussed my going home last night, she thought I'd just "sneaked out". I sobbed this morning, after putting down the phone. She's phoned four times now in the space of half an hour. She wants me to go round. I tell her the carer will be coming soon, she doesn't believe me. She says she's weak as a kitten, she needs help, she will have to go to her neighbour. Fifth phone call. I've agreed to go over. I hate my life.

Well, maybe hate was a bit strong. When I got to mum's she was resting on the settee. Her anger seemed to have subsided but she was unhappy. She said she had already had a fall in the kitchen and her hip was hurting her again, she didn't want to be alone. I gave her some painkillers and wrote a note to explain how often she could take them. The carer had been to make her toast and tea for breakfast and prompt her meds.

I phoned mum's social worker this morning and explained my concerns about mum's care package not being enough. I thought she would arrange an assessment of needs but she is going to try increasing the length of home care calls from 15 to 30 minutes and from 3 to 4 times a day. I've asked her to send an Attendance Allowance application - by my reckoning, the full price will be about £170 per week! I doubt the extra care time will be enough for mum but you never know. If she has time to get to know her carers and enjoy several chats a day with them, she might feel less lonely.


Granny on the Web said...


Love Granny

Emily said...

Would she ever get to know her carers? Her short-term memory loss sounds so bad that I'm concerned she'd continue to think them strangers, or not remember they had been there. If she's already fallen again...I don't mean to add to your burden of worry, but I'm far from convinced she should be at home. And I do NOT mean she should live with you!!! I'm upset that her medical assessment seems so far from reality.

Lily said...

Emily, you're psychic (see next post)