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melting but not down

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Prozac - 10 weeks - 2 steps forward, 1 step back

Seems like I was a different person at the weekend, as the number of posts then and the lack of them until now, suggests. Then I was buzzing about; yesterday and today I've been so lacking in energy, not exactly tired because I can rise to the occasion when something needs to be done, but during periods of inactivity I could easily fall asleep. Also, it's somewhat irking that having stopped the short course of steroids which did zap the eczema, my skin is itchy again and has flared up in patches. My own fault, I admit, as I grew complacent with the steroid-related improvement and stopped applying the ointment so often. Still, it's not as bad as it sounds - with the help of the super anti-histamine I'm sleeping well and the itching is nowhere near the torment it was.

The WW2 research I did for mum went down well, she has re-read the information a number of times and told me today that she remembered a lot of the people whose names were listed as serving at her old airbase. I'm hoping it brings back new memories as she always says the happiest time of her life was when she was a WAAF. It was shower and hair washing night tonight. I found it quite strange and awkward at first, as an adult you don't expect to see your mother naked, but now I quite like being able to help her in this way. In fact, I feel closest to her when she's resting her hands on my shoulders as I shampoo her hair, her vulnerability and trust is touching. She's like a little bird, at her last weigh-in she was 36kg which I reckon is not much over five and a half stones. Thinking of her like this helps me to find some balance in what has been a difficult relationship with my mother for most of my life.


rilera said...

Allow yourself some downtime and take care of yourself Lily.

Lily said...

Thank you rilera, I'm planning to take it easy today.

oldcrow61 said...

Hi there, found you through willowswitch's blog. It's wonderful that you are having a closer relationship with your mother now. My partner has had psoriasis for years which comes and goes. I know it itches him a lot at times so I can see what you must go through with eczema.

J said...

I tell mom that we're like Lucy and Ethel of I Love Lucy. We often get the giggles while getting mom's shower done. We joke the awkward situations away.
((Lily)) take care of yourself.

J said...

YooooHooooo? how are you doing Lily?
THinking of you and sending wishes of health and peace.

Lily said...

Thanks oldcrow61 and j for stopping by and thinking of me x