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melting but not down

Thursday, 8 October 2009

on the slow train

I have another fortnight's sick note thank goodness, I'm exhausted. Mum has exhibited some bizarre behaviour lately, in addition to her journey back into the past. The staff nurse told me she tried to sit on a patient's visitor's legs the other day and refused to move, even when the patient's family were telling her to go back to her own bed! I don't know whether it was that incident getting mixed up in her mind, but when I visited her later, she was adamant there'd been an altercation with the same people over their wanting me to entertain their guests and provide them with cakes?!

On Tuesday I met with the social worker to help compile her report and yesterday we both met with a member of the Primary Care Team for another long assessment meeting, this time to determine whether mum's needs qualified her for a financial contribution from the PCT towards the cost of her residential care. Mum scored high in some areas, eg nutrition (she's now just under 5 stones) and came out as a borderline case. I have been instructed to look for a nursing home with dual registration, ie elderly and dementia care. There aren't that many in our area to choose from. I also phoned a solicitor yesterday to discuss the problem of gaining access to mum's bank account to pay for residential care as I don't have power of attourney. He advised me that once mum is in a home he would be happy to visit her and if she seems to understand and agree that this arrangement needs to be made, he can go ahead. If not, we'll have to pursue another route via the bank or the courts. Urggh.

Today the doctor will make a formal assessment of mum's capacity to make decisions about her future care, I think its unlikely she will agree to residential care so he will say that she does not have the capacity but residential care would be in her best interests. If she refuses, another assessment will have to be done under the new Deprivation of Liberty legislation. This afternoon's visit to mum will be interesting, will I be greeted by Dr Jekyll or Mrs Hyde?


Emily said...

Courage! I'm hoping these things will go easily for you...that she says yes to everything...but if they don't...well, it's more aggravation for you, I know. But you are finally on track toward getting her the care she needs. I think it's getting to this point that is the worst.

Feel better!

J said...

Mom sees and hears other people and talks to them. She is rarely coherent for even 10 mins. at a time and sometime not even that long. She's like your mom as in forgetting from one min. to the next what is said to her. She also doesn't realize many of the people are now dead.
(((Lily))) we'll get thru this. YOU CAN DO ONLY WHAT YOU ARE DOING
You're there for her and following her doctor's orders.