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melting but not down

Monday, 12 October 2009

I made the right decision

It is time for mum to be in residential care. I know this now, after yesterday's visit.

I thought there was an odour when I arrived on the ward but there often is, considering most of the patients are bedridden. Mum was asleep and when she woke up I took her down to the cafe for a cup of tea. She was perfectly calm. After five minutes or so, she wanted the loo so we went into the public toilets on the main corridor. OMG! Everywhere. I did my best to clean her up and took her straight back to the ward where I asked a nurse to give her a proper wash and change her clothes. I'm not sure mum fully understood what had happened, she was grumpy after the nurse had finished, as if she'd undergone an unnecessary procedure. Thank goodness for dementia - mum used to say that she wouldn't want to live if she couldn't keep herself clean, she would have been mortified if she'd realised.


Emily said...

Boy oh boy, I'm glad you feel more secure in your decision now.

Depends? Those adult diapers? I used to think they were...oh, something so far-fetched & humiliating, but I noticed my mother was quietly wearing them her last few years (she didn't have dementia), plus after one disastrous pre-colonoscopy night, I bought some for myself for the next colonoscopy prep.

rilera said...

(sigh) I'm so sorry to hear this. My mom said the same thing. Your poor mom. You are both in my thoughts, Lily.

J said...

I was wondering if she was having that problem.
Mom only had the irregular accident. Even though she wore Depends there would be accidents of reaching the bathroom or her bedside commode. But after this last spell from breaking her other hip, she came home from the Terrace almost an invalid.
I spend most of my time helping her clean up from accidents. She tries but even with the Depends she forgets and messes herself. It's much like dealing with pottie training a toddler only she won't ever get back to the stage of caring for herself.
I average 2-3 loads of mom's bedding and clothes each day. There's also the shampooing of carpet and disinfecting everything constantly.
This disease eventually takes their dignity and humanity away from them. It seems to cause mom to retreat even farther inside herself.
Sorry for blabbing on and on.
Please keep an eye on your mom's bottom. If not careful even with the best professional care there can still be issues of skin damage that can lead to bedsores.
Their skin is tissue thin and 'diaper rash' can get a grip before you know it.
(((Lily))) it's rough but you ARE doing the right thing.

Lily said...

Shouldn't laugh, but 'keep an eye on your mum's bottom' is not a phrase I'd ever imagined hearing! I shall do my best :-), thanks J x