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melting but not down

Wednesday, 4 February 2009


Got the results of my chest x-ray yesterday. Apparently everything looked normal. Feh. The 'good' news put me on a downer for the rest of the day. What the hell IS wrong with me? I'm still knackered etc. but with no definite explanation yet. If the cardiologist doesn't find something, don't know what I'll do. I have wondered about depression but surely the Prozac is treating that? It's certainly getting me through the mum minefield without meltdown. And then there's the loud heart murmur which must be due to something amiss.

Maybe its all in the mind. Maybe I'm sick of looking after everyone else and just want to be cosseted for a while myself. Maybe I want to escape to a hospital bed and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL without feeling guilty about it. Its 08:57. Maybe I should go to work now.


bulletholes said...

Lily, I thought you might like this from my pal UF Mike...he is the most Existentialistic Misogynist you could ever hope to meet.
I hope it makes you smile.


Lily said...

It certainly did! I've put him on my blog list so others can enjoy his stuff.