aliens shmaliens

Didn't take them long to return the old girl and vaporise the clone. Still, they seem to have recalibrated the Morrisons component - yesterday was mum's first trip out since before Christmas and not only did we finish in half the time, she bought a fair amount of food and was amenable to suggestion.

I told mum about the doctor's thinking I may have a heart murmur - she advised me to take it easy (code for 'pack in work and concentrate on looking after me'). I had a nap on her settee before going home but still felt shattered and passed on the offer of joining friends for a chinese meal. There's so much tidying up to do at home, I hope I find the energy and motivation to do it today, its beginning to get on my nerves.

I never did get round to the hoovering but I've done a few laundry loads, tidied up a bit, given away our old TV and a set of fire irons to a fellow freecycler, bought/bid for a few essential items (yes, really) on eBay and the dinner's in the oven. I'll have to eat it later because I promised mum I'd watch Dancing on Ice with her again tonight. Running out of steam now.

told you I was ill

I've just returned from the surgery. I may have a heart murmur. (It could be dad's genetic heart defect of a non-working valve.) I have to go back to the surgery at 11:15 for investigation of the gyno thing, 11:40 for an ECG and hospital around 3 for a chest x-ray. I see my doctor again next Friday and I suppose depending on the results of tests, I'll be referred on to a cardiologist. Gosh. It's quite exciting in a possibly-life-threatening-but-going-to-get-looked-after sort of way. I phoned my husband. He was very worried..........about my not being home for the TV installation guys. Grrr.

Oh yes, and my mum has been abducted by aliens and replaced by an unconvincing clone. This imposter was in a happy, sparky mood ALL THE TIME last night. She ate her tea and then HAD SUPPER!!! She didn't even protest when I said I wasn't going round tonight other than to say "they seem like such long days when you don't come" - the only slightly critical comment of the night. I joked "well you'll appreciate me all the more when I do come" to which she replied archly "well, we'll see" and then brightly as I left "thanks for coming!" Weird. If aliens are not to blame, I think she may be getting stuck into the Tia Maria I bought her for Christmas. I could get used to this!

Ah bless, husband has come home early from work to take me for my x-ray, all is forgiven! AND the new TV is all set up (although we could do with a new aerial and cable apparently). I've been ECG'd (trace looked OK) and gyno-swabbed so now its just the heart and lung X-ray to go. A second doctor couldn't hear a murmur but she didn't do such an extensive examination as the first. The worst thing that could happen is that no-one finds anything obviously wrong with me, lol. I want something found so I can be fixed!

can't complain (but I will anyway)

Mum is on good form at the moment. Fiesty, jokey - she has demanded I cancel the home care service as she doesn't like strangers coming in, rootling through her fridge and "shoving food down (her)", especially the one who didn't wash her hands before making a sandwich. She seems to have more energy and less confusion so I've done as she asked. I think she'll be ok getting her own food and taking her tablets. She even didn't have a problem with my not going round last night (late night working) - the first time I've missed a day since she took ill just before Christmas.

I, on the other hand, am dropping to bits. Tired, eczema's back, itchy, still coughing, some weird gynaecological thing going on. Will discuss all with my doctor tomorrow as well as the sleep clinic results - oxygen levels fine but pulse irregular. I have tomorrow off work to be home when the technician comes to set up our new TV. I would like to think I'll get lots of housework done but I'll probably just sleep. Suppose I'd better get dressed and ready for work now. Sigh.

He was not a number.

dear diary

It seems inappropriate, trivial even, to blog about the irritations of my own little life when others are going through much worse. However, I promised myself I would document these times, so here goes.

This week I've been so tired I've gone home at lunchtime for a couple of cat-naps, handy that I only live ten minutes away from where I work. My eyes are sticky and heavy again and the nettle devils are back. Mum wasn't too bad on Friday. She must be turning over a new leaf - she phoned her neighbour and invited her over for a cup of tea (this is the neighbour she hates with a passion!).

Saturday was even better. Mum was in a good mood and appreciative of the shopping I did for her - she wasn't up to going to Morrisons with me, thank goodness, so I got round in a third of the time. Mum had her emergency call equipment removed - she didn't want to keep it and pay for the service. I just hope she doesn't have a fall/another stroke. Still shattered, I had a snooze after lunch and left just before 5pm, calling at the retail park on the way home to look for a belated Christmas present for long-suffering husband. No luck.

Up at 8 this morning, I've put some washing in the machine and later will try to motivate myself to clean up the house. Have promised mum I'll go round about 6 and watch Dancing on Ice with her - she loves Torvill and Dean.

weird

No mention of the social worker tonight - has she already forgotten she came? Gave mum a bath and washed her hair. Not too chewy a night. Back again tomorrow.

rumbled!

Mum's social worker rang me at work yesterday. I told her mum's main problems/complaints and explained why it would be impractical for her to live with us. I arranged to meet the SW at mum's that afternoon.

I arrived at 15:30. Mum was in a flopping-on-the-settee-sorry-for-herself mood. She was adamant she didn't remember my going round the night before. She perked up when the SW arrived. The assessment took a long time, lots of questions, some of which mum answered honestly and others she blatantly fibbed about. I put the SW right under my breath on those.

Long story short, the SW is going to refer mum to .....

• the local housing authority which should mean that in a couple of months she will have a choice of warden-controlled flats to look at - that takes care of mum's long-held desire for a smaller property, easier to look after, on-call help if needed, neighbours she might like.


• the sensory loss team who may be able to provide her with a telephone adapted for the hard of hearing and perhaps something that will help her to hear the television without deafening the neighbours


• the occupational therapist to see whether some bath aids can be installed. If they're not suitable, it may be possible to put in a walk-in shower


• the home care team (the FAST carers finish this Friday) who will come lunchtime and tea-time to check mum's eating (she's still picking at tiny amounts) and taking her tablets for another month or so.

You'd think mum would have been delighted with such a bright light beaming from the end of the tunnel. You'd be wrong. The canny old lady mask slipped and the social worker saw my sulky, awkward mum in all her glory. She didn't want to go to day care for some company - a friend had said it was awful. She wasn't interested in different accommodation, she was alright where she was - her doctor had told her moving was the most stressful thing. She was disappointed more carers were coming - she didn't need them. She could manage the bath, she would soon be back on her feet, there wasn't anything on TV she wanted to watch..........you get the picture.

After the SW had gone, mum railed about how she thought she was never going to go, she had never been so bored, what a cheek asking all those questions, if she came again she wouldn't let her in. I was laughing so hard inside it was difficult to keep a straight face. The next time she moans about the responsibility of looking after the bungalow, etc. etc. I shall just put on a cheery face and remind her that the social worker is going to sort all her problems out. That'll fettle her, nothing to worry about - she won't know what to do with herself! Brazen hussy that I am, I left at 17:45!

And the day got better. I went to the pictures with my best mate last night, the first time in ages. We saw Australia. Good film, very very good film ;-)