My gorgeous new bike!

I bought this bike at the weekend and can't believe the difference it has made - the journey to work took me half as long yesterday, must be the bigger wheels! I asked the bike shop to swap over my woman's saddle from the old bike and it's front light and prop rest and I've had mudguards, a luggage rack and panniers fitted. Its great not having to carry all my stuff in a backpack any more. Also I finally caved in to common sense, I'm now wearing a cycling helmet for the first time in my life.

its getting better all the ti-i-ime!

Cycled to work today in beautiful sunshine.
Cycled to the shops at lunchtime in beautiful sunshine and bought a pair of knee supports which I wore when cycling home in beautiful sunshine - happy knees!
I'm thinking of trading in my current bike for a proper laydee's bike - I'm having trouble lifting my leg over the top bar without overbalancing (I'm only likkle) and I could do with a pair of panniers instead of carrying all my stuff in a backpack.

Went to see mum with lovely daughter tonight. Mum was much brighter - the staff said she'd been eating better for days...couldn't believe it when in front of our eyes she demolished a piece of ginger cake and THREE sandwiches! The staff have started putting food in front of her whenever she sits down and she just eats it! Brilliant to see. The only cloud on the horizon is that they've stopped some of her meds as something showed up in the latest blood tests - should find out tomorrow what it was.

Only a week and a bit and goodbye Prozac! I think I'm going to be ok :-)

Prozac blues?

Here I am at daft o'clock again. I've been hitting the keys around 3am quite a few times lately in a bid to tire myself out enough to go back to sleep. I'm beginning to think it may have something to do with coming off Prozac, especially as this weekend I haven't been my usual self. I've had long lie-ins on Saturday and Sunday, unusual for me, and felt more like my old anti-social self on Saturday night. Of course, that may have just been the inevitable consequence of being the only sober one surrounded by inebriated aging rock'n'rollers! Yesterday I felt quite flat, it took some doing just to keep going. Is it a coincidence that I'm now down to one Prozac tablet every fourth day? With the recent good weather, we've been concentrating on the garden, with the result that the house is a tip but I can't seem to motivate myself to clean it up.

Going back to bed now.

Lily - the grateful bum

This is my new bicycle saddle. I rode back from town on it yesterday and was astonished and relieved to find that despite being still rather tender from Thursday's cycle to work, it was pretty comfortable! I still had to get off and walk up a few hills and have a 'little' nap when I got home, but I'm determined to bike to work again next week and hope for a significant result at the Slimming World weigh-in on Tuesday night.

checking in

• mum is now 4 stones 9.5 pounds (65.5). Blood tests found too much calcium (is her body cannabilising itself to survive, eating up the bones?) so the doctor has stopped her digoxin (don't know what the link is) and doubled her anti-depressant (I'm hoping it stimulates her appetite). I was asked what I thought about referring her to hospital. I said it would be a bad move, she hated it in hospital last time and still lost weight through not eating and drinking. In hospital they just dump the food and leave at mealtimes. At least in the home she is in familiar surroundings and the staff will encourage her to eat. Hope I made the right decision.
• I did cycle to and from work on Thursday - 2.5 miles each way. Oh my poor knees. Oh my poor bum! I did say 'never again' but I'll persevere and try again next week. I've been told you can get special ladies' saddles, designed to be kind to our tender parts so am on a quest to find a good one.
• I've lost 15 pounds in 10 weeks with Slimming World! That's an average of 1.5 pounds a week and if I can keep it up, I'll hit my target of losing 3 stones in time for our holiday in mid August.
• I'm down to one Prozac tablet every third day and doing just fine. Will be completely off them in three weeks' time!

the post with no name

The three of us visited mum again on Bank Holiday Monday. This time she was in the lounge when we arrived, a good sign, and one of the staff brought her down to her room to see us. It must have been shocking for my son to see her out of bed (he doesn't get home very often so hasn't seen the gradual decline) - she looks so pale and tiny, stick thin and very wobbly when she walks. Still, she was glad to see us and quite chatty, I'm afraid we plied her with drink - her favourite tipple is Tia Maria, and had to put her to bed in the end as she was drifting off. LD and BS missed quite a little drama when I went to find a member of staff to get the Tia Maria out of the 'safe'. A group of residents were in the corridor and one of them ('Scary Lady') suddenly started stripping off, she had her jumper off by the time the staff caught up with her, apparently they'd had to stop her doing the same thing in the lounge a few moments earlier! I'm hoping to call in to see her during the day tomorrow as I'm over that way for work. I'm also planning to cycle to work tomorrow, I wonder whether I'll achieve both?

I spoke too soon....

The care home staff tell me that over the last couple of weeks mum has been fine one day - eating, drinking and wandering about, then the complete opposite the next. I can see from visiting her that the one does not cancel out the other - she seems more frail and detached from the world each time I go.

Yesterday lovely daughter and beloved son (home for Easter yay!) and I took mum an Easter egg. She was in bed for her afternoon nap and looked very pale, just skin and bone. She was pleased to see us and seemed content but that may have just been exhaustion. She talked a little, mostly about whether "the grumpy old man" (her father) was still at home and causing trouble. There was a flash of the old feisty mum when one of the staff came into the room to tell me when the blood test results would be back - after she left, mum asked if she'd gone and on being told 'yes', said "good" with a grin! We managed to encourage her to eat a chocolate and drink a little Mackeson, perhaps it was the latter that contributed to mum's telling us it was "a quarter past warmer outside", lol.

We're planning to go again this morning, hopefully before mum gets too tired.