About Me

My photo
melting but not down

Friday, 6 November 2009


Mum is 90 today. Beloved son is coming up from Nottingham and we're going to meet lovely daughter at the home at tea-time. I hope she has a good day today - when LD and I visited on Monday, the care staff said they'd put on a party for her and I've arranged for a huge bouquet to be delivered. Mum is starting to settle better - she's eating properly!!! and joining the other residents in the lounge, she hasn't spit out her medication or kicked anyone recently lol and takes herself off to her room after meals for a nap. She has stopped blaming me for putting her in the home and seems to think it was her decision, although she still says that she'll go home when 'they' say she can. On Monday night she even asked the carer for help getting ready for bed which suggests she's feeling more comfortable with her new surroundings. She does look frail though and her memory is getting worse and worse. I've decided not to tell her missing relatives have died any more, its too upsetting for her, I'll just feign ignorance and suggest they'll be visiting soon.

Despite the break from daily visiting (twice a week now), getting my weekends back and the comfort of knowing she's never on her own, the whole situation is still stressing me out subconsciously - this week I've woken Mr Lily a few times, shouting out or crying in my sleep - unusual for me, I can't always remember why. I am tired all the time still and will be glad when the power of attorney thing is sorted. Roll on the cruise!


Clippy Mat said...

i am sure i heard sweet music playing when i read the first part. as has been said on here many times, given time she will settle in and so glad that this is now happening. happy 90th to her

on the 'you' front, i'm sure you are suffering delayed reaction to all of the stress. who could blame you? lots of rest should help.

you have done a great job so be good to yourself.


Emily said...

Oh, what a relief that she's adjusting! But you've implied that your whole life with her was difficult; there's the source of the nightmares, I suspect.

Good for you to stop mentioning the deaths she's forgotten. She's living in a dream, and that's a kinder place for her to be.

The cruise! I'd forgotten! Yes!

rilera said...

I'm relieved to hear that your mom is settling in. This has been such a stressful time for you, take care of yourself. Sending warm thoughts your way.

Emily said...

Still waiting to see how the birthday celebration went. Eeek.