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melting but not down

Tuesday, 19 January 2010

mum, and me

Mum first. Went to see her last week on my own, how brave was that! Silly but I do get very anxious about visiting her without moral support from lovely daughter - I suppose its the uncertainty of what I'll find, good mood, bad mood, no discernable mood at all. Anyway, it was fine. I found mum in the lounge with the other residents, holding hands with one of the carers! Great introduction - "is this your daughter?" (me - "yes") "eeh, you told me you didn't have any children!" Well, she thinks I'm her sister so in her mind, I suppose she's right. We stayed in the lounge for quite a bit. I was fascinated by the interactions between other residents. One old chap and one of the ladies seemed very fond of each other, they were quite physically affectionate in a tender, low key sort of way. Another lady was holding hands with a guy in a wheelchair, although I don't think he had much choice in the matter!

I persuaded mum to go with me to her room when she started her loud comments about the others - "you see him in the wheelchair? Well you have to be careful if you sit next to him, he strokes your face. He's a pest!...her over there, she's just dumb, poor thing.....I don't like that woman sat next to you at all.." I'd have gone to see her again last night but there's an outbreak of sickness and diarrhoea in the home and mum is one of the afflicted, so I was advised to wait a while. The doctor has seen her and she's doing ok, apparently he asked her to stick her tongue out and she said indignantly "I don't do that!"

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I have turned my attentions to giving Mr Lily some much needed TLC. (Its as though being relieved of constant mum duties, I've caring to spare!) Poor thing is not well at all - lots of back pain and tiredness. I've even started cooking properly again, to his amazement - instead of raiding the freezer for ready meals, I've made double quantities of chicken casserole, vegetable stew and bolognese and frozen my home made efforts for later. I've also rescued the unused breadmaker from the attic - we'd had it years and never opened the box! I am now addicted to making my own bread - probably not a great idea when trying to lose weight, but never mind, lol. Here's my efforts so far - clockwise from top right: wholemeal, granary, white, fennel and raisin - a successful experiment!
Of course there are still some little stress clouds on the horizon. The home is now asking for payment and sent me a contract to sign as guarantor of same, which I've had to tell them my solicitor has advised against signing until the Court of Protection application has been processed successfully. Speaking of which, its unlikely to be any time soon as my solicitor wants me to get updated information on mum's finances which will take a while, judging from the phone calls I made to various building societies today. And then there's the rather scary medication issue. My last prescription for Prozac came back with a note from the doctor who wants to review it before he issues any more. Aaargh! I mean, I don't want to stay on it for ever, it has been a great help and I feel much better, but how much of that is circumstances and how much the medication? I have forewarned my boss, just in case I start acting weird in the near future. Yes, alright then, weirder.

Ye gods, look at the time - 02:12! This is what happens when you're awake at midnight because Mr Lily's sleep apnoea machine is wheezing like an asthmatic walrus and then the dog scratches at the bedroom door to be let out and then you realise you need to take an anti-histamine because the nettle devils are making an appearance and then of course you need a cup of tea to speed up the soothing process and what's a girl to do to fill in the time all this takes?


Emily said...

Homemade bread! I used to make it every week, gave it up for decades, & recently made it again, which reminded me how much I love my own bread. So I'm on a bread-making roll again. (Don't have a machine, alas.)

I'm on Paxil for the rest of MY life; I'd be pretty freaked to have it interrupted. I don't know about Prozac, but interrupting Paxil leads to pretty severe withdrawal symptoms; I'd check with the doctor about that.

Good luck with the whole money issue...I hope it goes more quickly than it sounds.

Lily said...

Thanks Emily, is Paxil an anti-depressant? (I could look it up on Google but I'm supposed to be at work in 20 minutes and I'm not dressed yet!)

Greg said...

I don't want to get your hopes up, but I've managed to ditch my CPAP machine, having lost over 5 stone myself. I see that your Hubby is committing to losing weight - was the sleep apnoea one of the reasons? I lost my weight after being diagnosed as diabetic and with enough fat in my blood to give me pancreatitis. Both issues were non-issues within a few weeks of starting my diet programme but I never dared dream that I'd get rid of my "Darth Vader" machine, too.

I'm somewhat stunned by the topics we have in common: Mums with dementia, Sleep Apnoea, Weight Loss, Yorkshire....

Lily said...

Hi Greg, we do seem to have a lot in common! Yes, I think the sleep apnoea and a bad back (osteoarthritis of the spine) were the main reasons for Mr Lily's motivation to lose weight, that and the fact that he doesn't want to look like "a fat bastard" when we go on our cruise in August, lol. Neither do I for that matter :-)