grey is the new blonde!

Actually, with all that's been happening and my general knackeredness, I just couldn't be bothered to do anything about it. The bathroom cabinet is full of boxes of colourant (ebay bargain!) so I guess you'll know I'm on the mend when I'm a brunette again.

Mum's being discharged tomorrow afternoon. Whoopee?

it's 4 in the morning and once more the snoring has woke up the blogger in me-e-e

Not to mention the nettle devils, so here I am again, anti-histamined and tea-d up. I'm feeling a bit odd at the moment. A faint undercurrent of anxiety and restlessness, no particular reason. I was up early yesterday morning as usual but just didn't feel well - tight chested, pressure on the back of my neck and over my heart; after a bit of knitting and TV I went back to bed and didn't get up until nearly 1pm, my first proper lie-in for ages. I can't believe it was due to forgetting to take my medication on Saturday but maybe my body is that sensitive. Last night I discovered my concentration must have slipped while knitting, I couldn't work out where I was in the pattern and had to pull out quite a few rows to get back to where I think I know where I am.

Mum finally decided to go to my aunt's funeral on Thursday after changing her mind three times. The service was dull but it was good to see the extended family again, especially my lovely cousin, his wife, son and daughter. (what relation are his children to me? Second cousins?) My cousin and his son are great huggers, I love that, makes me feel like I belong. It was interesting being able to put a face to people mum had told me about so many times in stories from the past. She was glad she went and I think she has mellowed somewhat towards my cousin.

We finally managed to find a new gardener for mum after getting a few estimates. He's coming to blitz the garden on Tuesday. I've taken the day off as I've also arranged for a woman to come round to mum's on Tuesday to demonstrate an amplified phone, I do hope it works for her, it will make life a lot easier, not to mention quieter at my end.

I had last Friday off work too, to spend the day with my betht fwend, lol. We used to see each other every fortnight for a natter and a trip to the pictures but in the end I was just too tired to cope with the driving and late nights. I was looking forward to getting together again and it was good but I wasn't the person I wanted to be with her. Its difficult to explain but some people bring out different aspects of me and with my BF, it can be my bossy streak! I think maybe she's so warm-hearted and co-operative (can't think of the right word) that I have to make an effort not to take charge. We used to share an office and spent our lunchtimes together, we were joined at the hip, shared all our woes and had lots of laughs. Later she was my rock when I was going through some really hard times and I want to be the fun friend she deserves, not some bossy big sister character who falls asleep on the sofa watching The Far Pavilions. Ah well, I'm hoping to start our cinema nights again so maybe I can rediscover the old me.

I've decided to chicken out of going grey for now. It's just adding to my general air of weariness and anyway, lovely daughter doesn't like it! I think it may remind her of my own mortality, ie mum's going grey = getting old = nearer death? I plan to return to 'light brown' some time in the next week.

Now THIS is what I'm aiming for .....

.....by letting my hair go grey. I already have a very similar cut, all I need is some super-fast silvering!

I am fading, I am fading......

see the silver, see it shine

I am streaking,

the pigment's leaking,

goodbye brown girl,

it's greying time.

Make that 3 steps back

Well, I'm inhabiting a topsy-turvy world at the moment. Intermittently soooo tired during the day that nothing much is getting done, least of all finishing husband's business books that I've been promising to do for weeks. Today I went back to bed after breakfast and was still there when he came home at lunchtime. Eventually got it together to meet him and friends in the pub at tea-time and when we returned home, got stuck into sorting out our entire photo collection that has been all jumbled up for years. I finally got to the end of one of the piles at about 1.40am, long after husband had gone to bed. Attempted to join him but the snoring catapulted me into the spare room. Shortly afterwards, heard him go to the bathroom so sneaked back into our bed but more of the same. Eventually found myself itchy and wide awake so got up, took an anti-histamine, came downstairs and made a cup of tea and here I am, at 3 am, tippy tapping away. Must get back into a sensible routine before work on Monday.

I've decided to let my hair go grey. It has a very fetching silver flash at each temple and under certain lights, is twinkling away at the roots. I rather like grey as a colour, it suits me. Time will tell whether vanity will win the day.